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Not My Father's Son: A Memoir Audible Audiobook – Unabridged

4.3 out of 5 stars 12,771 ratings

Audie Award, Autobiography/Memoir, 2015

Dark, painful memories can be like a cage. Or, in the case of Alan Cumming, they can be packed away in a box, stuck in the attic to be forgotten. Until one day the box explodes and all the memories flood back in horrible detail. Alan Cumming grew up in the grip of a man who held his family hostage, someone who meted out violence with a frightening ease, who waged a silent war with himself that sometimes spilled over onto everyone around him. That man was Alex Cumming, Alan's father.

When television producers approached Alan to appear on a popular celebrity genealogy show in 2010, he enthusiastically agreed. He hoped to solve a mystery that had long cast a shadow over his family. His maternal grandfather, Tommy Darling, had disappeared into the Far East after WWII. Alan's mother knew very little about him - he had been a courier, carrying information between battalions on his motorbike. The last time she saw her father, Alan's mother was eight years old. When she was 13, the family was informed that he had died by his own hand, an accidental shooting.

But this was not the only mystery laid before Alan's feet. His father, whom Alan had not seen or spoken to for more than a decade, reconnected just before filming for Who Do You Think You Are? began. He had a secret he had to share, one that would shock his son to his very core and set into motion a journey that would change Alan's life forever.

With ribald humor, wit, and incredible insight, Alan seamlessly moves back and forth in time, integrating stories from his childhood in Scotland and his experiences today as the celebrated actor of film, television, and stage. At times suspenseful, at times deeply moving, but always incredibly brave and honest, Not My Father's Son is a powerful story of embracing the best aspects of the past and triumphantly pushing the darkness aside.

Product details

Listening Length 6 hours and 28 minutes
Author Alan Cumming
Narrator Alan Cumming
Whispersync for Voice Ready
Audible.com Release Date October 07, 2014
Publisher HarperAudio
Program Type Audiobook
Version Unabridged
Language English
ASIN B00MOUZ8H4
Best Sellers Rank #27,003 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals)
#70 in Dysfunctional Families (Books)
#101 in Dysfunctional Families (Audible Books & Originals)
#823 in Relationships (Audible Books & Originals)

Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
12,771 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this memoir well-written and engaging throughout, with one review describing it as a beautiful personal journey of discovery and hope. The book offers deep insights into self-examination, with one customer noting how honesty resonates through a difficult childhood. Customers appreciate the author's talent as a performer and his delightful wit throughout the narrative. The memoir serves as an amazing story of resilience, detailing the author's successful survival of abuse and triumph over adversity.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

891 customers mention "Story quality"891 positive0 negative

Customers praise the memoir's well-written narrative, describing it as a fascinating and engaging read.

"...This book is a treasure. Dark a tale as it is ,it is also very intriguing as it unfolds ...." Read more

"I really enjoyed this book. It opened my eyes to a number of topics. I highly recommend it to anyone...." Read more

"...This story is so well-written, juxtaposing the experiences of the present, the immediate past, and the further past so effectively...." Read more

"...abuse and found a path to recovery, this will be a pretty inspiring memoir to read." Read more

457 customers mention "Writing quality"419 positive38 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the book, describing it as wonderfully and very well written, with one customer noting its straightforward storytelling style.

"...boundless creativity is our gift.. A real man of substance .A lovely writer...." Read more

"...not use a ghost writer, then he is not only a great actor but a talented writer as well." Read more

"...Alan Cumming is personable, funny, straightforward, and candid in his remarks, weaving a story that encourages people to rise above the challenges..." Read more

"...However, Cumming writes extremely well...." Read more

383 customers mention "Heartfelt story"311 positive72 negative

Customers find this memoir heartfelt and emotional, describing it as touching and at times heartbreaking, with one customer noting it as a deeply moving account of an extremely painful childhood.

"...He still has an open and generous heart. You will fall in love with his mom as well ...Mary Darling . This book is deeply inspiring ...." Read more

"How do I start my praise of this book? I really don't know how. It is sad, truthful, and emotionally binding...." Read more

"...it all, this man has built a successful life & career with a loving husband to share it with. Godspeed Alan!..." Read more

"...The book is honest and heartfelt." Read more

377 customers mention "Insight"366 positive11 negative

Customers appreciate the book's honest approach, with several noting how it provides deep insight into the author's life. One customer mentions how the author shares personal struggles openly, while another notes how it resonates through a difficult childhood.

"...It is a page turner . I hope he will write more. The man has such innate wisdom and a capacity to express..." Read more

"I really enjoyed this book. It opened my eyes to a number of topics. I highly recommend it to anyone...." Read more

"...The secrets he chases down as an adult are suspenseful and engrossing...." Read more

"...There is an honest, vulnerable side to Alan that I think would be terrifying to reveal to all the world considering the subject matter and his very..." Read more

352 customers mention "Enjoyment"297 positive55 negative

Customers find the book engaging and hold their interest throughout, with one customer noting how it brings readers into the drama of every moment.

"...The secrets he chases down as an adult are suspenseful and engrossing...." Read more

"...This book took many twists and turns that I was not expecting which simply proves that life really can be stranger than fiction...." Read more

"...He has mastered narrative structure -- this isn't a mere collection of awful stories. Cumming doesn't whine, although he is vulnerable...." Read more

"...The book is not slow-moving and it kept my interest all the way though...." Read more

248 customers mention "Talent"248 positive0 negative

Customers praise Alan Cumming's talent, describing him as a fantastic person and actor with an absolute love in his voice.

"...pays it forward with his boundless creativity is our gift.. A real man of substance .A lovely writer...." Read more

"...Cumming actually did not use a ghost writer, then he is not only a great actor but a talented writer as well." Read more

"...Alan Cumming is personable, funny, straightforward, and candid in his remarks, weaving a story that encourages people to rise above the challenges..." Read more

"...I am happy to have read this book and again commend this fantastic performer on his ability to tell the truth about his childhood in a way that..." Read more

90 customers mention "Humor"87 positive3 negative

Customers appreciate the book's humor, noting its delightful wit and intermittent comedic moments throughout.

"...Alan Cumming is personable, funny, straightforward, and candid in his remarks, weaving a story that encourages people to rise above the challenges..." Read more

"...Written with beauty, care, and the lovely tongue and cheek banter you have to love him for, I finished this book between flights and layovers and..." Read more

"...He impressed me as a humble, sincere, & witty man. (Plus I could listen to him speak all day - I love his brogue)!..." Read more

"Never would guess this about Alan's past. He is charming, funny, intelligent and talented- the kind of son any father should be proud of...." Read more

86 customers mention "Resilience"79 positive7 negative

Customers praise the memoir's portrayal of resilience, describing it as an honest account of triumph over adversity.

"...There is an honest, vulnerable side to Alan that I think would be terrifying to reveal to all the world considering the subject matter and his very..." Read more

"...This one did not. Alan Cumming was so honest and vulnerable in this book describing both his past and the search for his family’s past...." Read more

"...Overall it was a pretty solid, quick read, and I did enjoy it and couldn't put it down!" Read more

"...sadly awful or awfully sad, it is compelling in its optimism and resilience...." Read more

Couldn't put it down!
5 out of 5 stars
Couldn't put it down!
This book was great! I'm always interested in other families and their stories. This was a good one. I read it every moment I was free and read it in less than a week. Alan Cumming is an incredible person. He went through so much horror as a child and still became a good and loving person. I'm so impressed with him!
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2014
    I am such a fan of Alan Cumming .So I have been waiting for this book . His magnetism on stage can be spellbinding . I consider it an honor to watch him perform.So it is with those feelings I came to read this memoir.
    Harrowing child abuse .Horrific mind games he endured as a boy.
    He writes as he speaks .Fluidity,intelligence and there is this spark !! This indomitable optimistic spirit that drives him and he allows us in to share it.This book is a treasure.
    Dark a tale as it is ,it is also very intriguing as it unfolds . Thank goodness he made it through all of this .That he generously pays it forward with his boundless creativity is our gift.. A real man of substance .A lovely writer.I can only say that when I closed the last page ...I held the book to my heart and deeply exhaled . I was sad to be done.
    It is a page turner . I hope he will write more. The man has such innate wisdom and a capacity to express
    himself in ALL artistic genres that is simply artful and exquisite....he is a light.
    Though this sensitive boy was robbed of the happy childhood he deserved . He still has an open and generous heart. You will fall in love with his mom as well ...Mary Darling .
    This book is deeply inspiring . Thank You Mr. Cumming.
    6 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 23, 2025
    I really enjoyed this book. It opened my eyes to a number of topics. I highly recommend it to anyone. I enjoyed Alan on both The Good Wife, and recently Traitors, and decided to give it a try. I basically read it strait through for me.
  • Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2024
    I really enjoyed this book so I read it all in less than one day. Alan Cumming is one of my favorite actors, and I learned in this book how he came to be so real and genuine a person. This story is so well-written, juxtaposing the experiences of the present, the immediate past, and the further past so effectively. If Alan Cumming actually did not use a ghost writer, then he is not only a great actor but a talented writer as well.
  • Reviewed in the United States on March 6, 2016
    It's very difficult to criticize someone's autobiography. Any dissatisfaction with the book seems like belittling the author's life. That is not the intent of this review, merely an explanation and apology for giving it only 3 stars.

    In 'Not my Father's Son,' we learn that Alan Cumming's childhood was not one we would wish on anyone. The reader can't help but read with the morbid fascination of watching a train wreck, even though it sometimes feels like voyeurism. While jumping back and forth through the events of his childhood and adolescence, to an adulthood experience with tracking down not one, but two emotional mysteries, the reader almost feels they are watching a suspense-filled play. I really couldn't put it down, even though time for leisure reading is difficult to come by lately. I wanted so badly to understand Mr. Cumming's father and the reason for his attitude and actions toward his family. Some part of it is eventually explained, but some is left in bewildering confusion. Honestly, I didn't mind this part, in retrospect, because isn't that more like real life? Life isn't a mystery book where every detail is revealed at the end. More often, there are bits and pieces that are never fully resolved. I wish Mr. Cumming had been able to fully understand why someone could be so constantly enraged, and act in such a bitterly wrathful way toward those who should have been cherished and protected. He seems to have come to terms on how to proceed in his adult life, however, and for that, I give him much respect.

    The secrets he chases down as an adult are suspenseful and engrossing. I did like going on the hunt with him and was happy the conclusions to those questions did have resolution.

    The reason for only 3 stars is because the format of the book was not smooth. As mentioned, it jumped back and forth from childhood events, to adult ones. This is an often used storytelling device, but I did not feel it was successful here. It felt distracting and disorganized. I still appreciated the story, but this problem was enough to cause interference in being able to really enjoy the experience.

    Other readers may not find this an issue, however, and even with 3 stars, I can see recommending it to friends.
    11 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Cassis
    5.0 out of 5 stars Touching book
    Reviewed in France on April 20, 2015
    Frankly, I hadn't heard of Alan Cumming until a couple of years ago when I bought a box set of 'Who do you think you are' and he was on one of the dvd's. I was so touched by his family story and how genuine Alan came across in the dvd that his story stayed with me and I wanted to know more about him. I was thrilled when I recently saw his book on amazon and bought it straight away. The book filled in the gaps of 'who do you think you are', explaining what Alan was going through in his private life at that time and how it was effecting him during filming. He describes his attempts to have a relationship with his abusive father that made his childhood distressing and painful, having an impact on his adult life. It's sad and very moving but at the same time Alan gets through with humour and love.
  • Sharron K Hope
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 20, 2025
    A very good book which takes you on an emotional roller coaster. Poignant at times with jaw open moments. A story many experience in secret and I’m glad that this has been shared to help others, thank you.
  • doreen dunlop
    5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant.
    Reviewed in Australia on May 28, 2022
    This book is really a great insight into Alan’s troubled life with his father. Was very touching to read and sad that he was brought up that way by his father. Alan is a wonderful person and it must be difficult to relive some of those situations through telling his story.
  • Laura
    5.0 out of 5 stars muy bueno
    Reviewed in Spain on August 31, 2016
    ESte es un libro de memorias poco usual, ya que Alan lo presenta casi como un misterio policiaco en torno a sus origenes. Bien escrito y divertido, lectura recomendale para aquellos a los que les gustan las autobiografías y conocen al personaje, actor de teatro, cine y cabaret inglés.
    Report
  • Rebeca yene Dias
    5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful
    Reviewed in Brazil on December 22, 2018
    Truly beautiful! Really touching memoir! Full of sensibility and love... Makes one wonder about how much our childhood defines who we are!