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The most banned book in Americanotlikemama

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Gender Queer: A Memoir Paperback – May 28, 2019

by Maia Kobabe (Author)

4,385 ratings

Part of: Gender Queer: A Memoir

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Stonewall Book AwardWinner, 2020

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2020 ALA Alex Award Winner
2020 Stonewall — Israel Fishman Non-fiction Award Honor Book

In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Now, Gender Queer is here. Maia’s intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears.

Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, Gender Queer is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity—what it means and how to think about it—for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere.

"It’s also a great resource for those who identify as nonbinary or asexual as well as for those who know someone who identifies that way and wish to better understand." — SLJ (starred review)

From the Publisher

The award-winning, critically acclaimed bestselling graphic novel memoir from Maia Kobabe

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"It’s also a great resource for those who identify as nonbinary or asexual as well as for those who know someone who identifies that way and wish to better understand." ― School Library Journal (starred review)

About the Author

Maia Kobabe is a nonbinary, queer author and illustrator from the Bay Area, California. Eir first full length book, GENDER QUEER: A MEMOIR, was published in May 2019. Maia's short comics have been published by The Nib and in many anthologies including THE SECRET LOVES OF GEEKS, FASTER THAN LIGHT Y'ALL, GOTHIC TALES OF HAUNTED LOVE, SHOUT OUT, ADVANCED DEATH SAVES and BE GAY, DO COMICS. Before setting out to work freelance full-time, e worked for over ten years in libraries. Eir work is heavily influenced by fairy tales, homesickness, and the search for identity.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Oni Press; 1st edition (May 28, 2019)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1549304003
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1549304002
Reading age ‏ : ‎ 18 years and up
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.05 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.75 x 0.7 x 8.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #18,809 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #10 in Biographies & History Graphic Novels
- #12 in LGBTQ+ Biographies (Books)
- #27 in Educational & Nonfiction Graphic Novels

Customer Reviews:
4,385 ratings

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Maia Kobabe

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Maia Kobabe is a nonbinary, queer author and illustrator with an MFA in Comics from California College of the Arts. Eir first full length book, GENDER QUEER: A MEMOIR, was published by Lion Forge Comics in May 2019. Eir work focuses on themes of identity, sexuality, anti-fascism, fairy tales, and homesickness. Maia's work can be found on instagram @redgoldsparks, patreon.com/maiakobabe and redgoldsparkspress.com.

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4,385 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this memoir to be a compelling and educational read that helps readers better understand transgender experiences. The book is written in an intimate, easy-to-read style, and one customer notes how it conveys complex concepts clearly. Customers describe it as heartfelt and poignant, with one review highlighting how it shares the emotional journey of Maia. While many customers consider it a great book for older teens, some find it not appropriate for younger readers. The graphic novel format receives positive feedback, though some customers find it too graphic.

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Readability Insight Writing quality Heartfelt story Honesty Graphic novel content Age range Graphic content

189 customers mention "Readability"185 positive4 negative

Customers find the memoir highly readable, describing it as a brilliant retelling that is both enlightening and relatable.

"...The artwork is stunning too. Kobabe's illustrations capture the emotions perfectly, pulling you into eir world with every page turn...." Read more

"...The story is deeply personal and covers the landscape of childhood and mature friendships, attraction, crushes, gender roles and stereotypes, erotic..." Read more

"As an elderly heterosexual male, I found Gender Queer to be a worthwhile exploration of the author's development and struggle with their own..." Read more

"...What a lovely world it would be if we were all allowed to be our own brilliant, beautiful selves in what ever way we chose to show up, Accepted and..." Read more

149 customers mention "Insight"144 positive5 negative

Customers find the memoir educational and enlightening, helping them better understand themselves and their children.

"..." is like sitting down with a close friend and hearing eir deepest thoughts on gender identity...." Read more

"...of childhood and mature friendships, attraction, crushes, gender roles and stereotypes, erotic fantasy, masturbation, pleasure, dating, relationships..." Read more

"Fantastic introduction to exploring gender concepts and finding yourself when you don’t feel like you fit in." Read more

"...I am very glad to have read it and highly recommend it. I shows a perspective of life that many are unfamiliar with...." Read more

59 customers mention "Writing quality"56 positive3 negative

Customers praise the writing quality of the memoir, describing it as beautifully and wonderfully told, with great illustrations throughout.

"...The artwork is stunning too. Kobabe's illustrations capture the emotions perfectly, pulling you into eir world with every page turn...." Read more

"...I found these landscapes familiar, and the episodes and internal dialogues relatable even when the particulars were so very different from my own..." Read more

"...The story is engaging and I think the author does an excellent job at conveying concepts that are often hard to give voice to, even now when the..." Read more

"As a graphic novel, this is much easier to digest than other storytelling styles (imo), and Kobabe has a very clue clear talent for communication...." Read more

47 customers mention "Heartfelt story"44 positive3 negative

Customers find the memoir heartfelt and poignant, describing it as heart wrenching and compassionate, with one customer noting how it shares the emotional journey of Maia.

"...It's like a warm hug and a wake-up call all rolled into one. So grab a copy, settle in, and get ready to see the world in a whole new light." Read more

"...The stories are at different times funny, cringe-inducing, sweet and painful...." Read more

"...selves in what ever way we chose to show up, Accepted and loved unconditionally!..." Read more

"...It's just so well done they put their emotions on the page and they're plainly there and easily accessible...." Read more

31 customers mention "Honesty"31 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the memoir's honesty, describing it as refreshing and relatable.

"...It's real, it's raw, and it's incredibly relatable. This graphic novel is all about Kobabe's personal journey...." Read more

"...I enjoyed reading it and I did so in one sitting. It was validating to read someone else having similar doubts and struggles and realizations about..." Read more

"...I found this book to be so boldly honest and insightful...." Read more

"A fantastic book. A true must read...." Read more

21 customers mention "Graphic novel content"21 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the graphic novel format of the memoir, describing it as one of the best they've read, with one customer noting how the comic book style makes it accessible.

"...understood, then I highly suggest reading this magnificent piece of cartoon style literature. I can’t sing enough praises for this book...." Read more

"...put their emotions on the page and they're plainly there and easily accessible...." Read more

"...A graphic novel is the right medium for this, and e does a high-quality and effective job covering the ground...." Read more

"Wowza! This is, hands down, my favorite graphic novel, to date. It was also the most banned book of 2022...." Read more

35 customers mention "Age range"17 positive18 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the age range of the book, with some considering it great for older teens while others find it not appropriate for children.

"...of this book, especially given that this book is intended for high school and older aged readers (rated for 14+)...." Read more

"...with this book being available to adults, but it has no place in even a high school library...." Read more

"...It is clearly marked for ages 18; the few art portions that include nudity are illustrated memories from the author...." Read more

"...This has been attacked as indoctrination and unsuitable for children, but it isn't written for children, only for ages 18 and up...." Read more

30 customers mention "Graphic content"5 positive25 negative

Customers find the graphic content of the memoir excessive and inappropriate, with several noting that it includes unnecessary explicit sexual material.

"...Does this piece have some explicit sexual content ? Yes...." Read more

"...The book is mostly pictures. I've noticed this trend before...." Read more

"Porn? No. This book does indeed contain some sexual content for which elementary and middle school kids will not yet have context...." Read more

"...this book I expected it to be a wash in pornographic images and lewd behavior...." Read more

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Lydia
Must read for anyone
Reviewed in the United States on May 10, 2024
Verified Purchase

Maia Kobabe's "Gender Queer: A Memoir" is like sitting down with a close friend and hearing eir deepest thoughts on gender identity. It's real, it's raw, and it's incredibly relatable.

This graphic novel is all about Kobabe's personal journey. Ey don't hold back, sharing the highs and lows of figuring out eir gender identity. It's refreshing to read something so honest and down-to-earth.

But it's not just about Kobabe. Through eir story, you get a crash course in gender diversity. Ey break down stereotypes and show that gender isn't just black and white – it's a whole rainbow.

What really shines through is Kobabe's courage. Despite the struggles and doubts, ey embrace who ey are with unapologetic confidence. It's inspiring stuff that'll make you want to live your truth too.

The artwork is stunning too. Kobabe's illustrations capture the emotions perfectly, pulling you into eir world with every page turn.

In short, "Gender Queer" is a must-read for anyone curious about gender identity. It's like a warm hug and a wake-up call all rolled into one. So grab a copy, settle in, and get ready to see the world in a whole new light.

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5 people found this helpful

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David J. Langrock
Brilliant and poignant -
Reviewed in the United States on June 16, 2023
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I just finished reading Maia's amazing book. It's a fast, fun and at times poignant read.

Gender Queer is a memoir in which Maia tells of how e grew up and learned to make space to live, thrive and find joy outside rigidly defined boundaries of gender and sexuality in American dominating culture. The story is deeply personal and covers the landscape of childhood and mature friendships, attraction, crushes, gender roles and stereotypes, erotic fantasy, masturbation, pleasure, dating, relationships, sex, childbirth, and marriage.

I found these landscapes familiar, and the episodes and internal dialogues relatable even when the particulars were so very different from my own experiences. The stories are at different times funny, cringe-inducing, sweet and painful. By the end I felt like I had gotten to know Maia and some of the people in eir life. I developed an empathy for em, which is really what the point of the memoir was, I suppose.

Gender Queer is an important book at this moment especially for cisgender folks like myself. Dominating cultures always tell people who aren't happy with the structures forced upon them that they are confused (or worse). Ironically, these cultures often flatter themselves as championing liberty. Those that wish to work for liberation must learn to empathize and listen to one another. Cisgender people must listen to and develop empathy for gender queer (and more broadly trans and all non-binary) folks if we have any aspirations for liberation for all.

Maia's story is a gift for those that will listen. Thank you Maia!

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17 people found this helpful

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Mark E. Miller
A worthwhile memoir that has generated undeserved criticism
Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2025
Verified Purchase
As an elderly heterosexual male, I found Gender Queer to be a worthwhile exploration of the author's development and struggle with their own identity and sexuality. It has very little to do with me, except for the generalized fact that we all question our nature and place in the world, in one way or another, during adolescence.

Even so, I am reminded of the quotation from Terence, "I am human, and I consider nothing human to be alien to me."

The book does not come to any profound conclusions, but is a reminder that there are many ways of being human, and that we should be kind to one another.

The idea that there is anything pornographic about this book is baffling and risible.

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One person found this helpful

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Billy
Everyone needs to read this
Reviewed in the United States on March 22, 2025
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Fantastic introduction to exploring gender concepts and finding yourself when you don’t feel like you fit in.

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caraprice
A must read!
Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2023
Verified Purchase
If you are an individual that strives to honor everyone where they are, even if not fully understood, then I highly suggest reading this magnificent piece of cartoon style literature. I can’t sing enough praises for this book. Really “hearing” someone’s story with your heart is a must if we truly want to achieve equality for all people in this world. I do not know the pain and anguish that this author has gone through trying to find “er” right identity, but after reading this zine, I am better equipped to embrace all areas of life on a deeper level. I grew up bullied, moving multiple times each year…always “the new kid”, sometimes “the fat kid”, trying to find my own identity and how I fit in with other kids my age while vacillating back and forth from East to West schools. Different hairstyles, different clothing styles, different lingo used. Always the kid that had to walk into the classroom, in the middle of a the school year, all alone, pink slip in hand, while all the other kids stared at me as the teacher mis-pronounced or shortened my name. I was too embarrassed to correct them. I was humiliated and mortified numerous times a year…what I experienced, is only the tip of the iceberg for the Gender Queer, but none-the-less traumatizing in its own damaging way. Not knowing where we fit in as younger versions of ourselves is universal. What a lovely world it would be if we were all allowed to be our own brilliant, beautiful selves in what ever way we chose to show up, Accepted and loved unconditionally! Kudos to Maia Kobabe for “er” bravery and commitment to bringing Gender Queer awareness to the forefront. ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE READING THIS BOOK…I HOPE YOU WILL BE ONE OF THEM!

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23 people found this helpful

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Hyde Addams
Seems A Good Book
Reviewed in Australia on March 23, 2023
Verified Purchase

Now I bought this book because it has been banned and is under checks in certain places. So I naturally has to buy it and see what the go was. Now while it has mentions, so far that I’ve read, of sex masturbation periods blood porn etc I don’t see why there’s so much issue with the book unless it gets worse as it goes. I’ll update if it does. But so far it’s no where near as bad as some of the books I read in school.

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Hyde Addams

Seems A Good Book

Reviewed in Australia on March 23, 2023
Now I bought this book because it has been banned and is under checks in certain places. So I naturally has to buy it and see what the go was. Now while it has mentions, so far that I’ve read, of sex masturbation periods blood porn etc I don’t see why there’s so much issue with the book unless it gets worse as it goes. I’ll update if it does. But so far it’s no where near as bad as some of the books I read in school.

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Sébastien Morgan
Excellent, drôle, émouvant et très pédagogique
Reviewed in France on September 26, 2022
Verified Purchase
Ce livre est un témoignage sincère, bourré d humour et de moments émouvants. Il permet d ouvrir la réflexion d une façon simple, complète et pédagogique. Un must have pour tous ceux qui veulent sortir de la binarité et reconnaître la richesse de la sexualité humaine.

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Alice U
dolce
Reviewed in Italy on March 28, 2023
Verified Purchase
è un racconto intimo, semplice e tenero sulla ricerca della propria identità, anche in rapporto all'ambiente in cui si cresce. Si legge in un pomeriggio

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Lisandra
I've never have felt more seen!
Reviewed in Brazil on November 3, 2021
Verified Purchase
Even tough not all of eir experiences are the same as mine, so many of them were! Some were the first time I've seen someone have the same questions and doubts as me, especially in my teenager years. And even if you don't go to read it for that it's all very informative, sweet and funny.
P.s: trigger warning: there are 2 instances of medical related trauma, plz read with caution.

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DiviDc
a must read 🖤
Reviewed in India on August 30, 2022
Verified Purchase
I think it takes courage to tell your story and bravery to keep it real. Maia beautifully, very rawly portrayed what connecting / reconnecting with ourselves is like. I think this book is a very, very important read that can teach us to discard the set notions we have of gender binaries both internally and externally, and also learn and take into our dictionaries how others associate with their identities.

(Ps- The non binary, spivak and asexual representation in this book (owing to the author’s identity) is something you don’t find often being represented and to see it here being depicted so honestly, just feels wholesome and seen)

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5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for anyone

5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant and poignant -

4.0 out of 5 stars A worthwhile memoir that has generated undeserved criticism

5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone needs to read this

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read!

Top reviews from other countries

5.0 out of 5 stars Seems A Good Book

Seems A Good Book

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5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, drôle, émouvant et très pédagogique

4.0 out of 5 stars dolce

5.0 out of 5 stars I've never have felt more seen!

5.0 out of 5 stars a must read 🖤

Must read for anyone

Brilliant and poignant -

A worthwhile memoir that has generated undeserved criticism

Everyone needs to read this

A must read!

Seems A Good Book

Excellent, drôle, émouvant et très pédagogique

dolce

I've never have felt more seen!

a must read 🖤