I never thought I would write a review about an artificial Christmas tree after so much fluffing disappointment throughout the years, but after what I just experienced I might just need a cigarette and a hot shower. I've never fluffed with such satisfaction, and the tree looks good too. Being prepared for yet another letdown I didn’t even bother to take pictures when I opened the box. I should have known what I was in for when I first saw it. It’s fullness while so flaccidly packed in that box, and delicately wrapped in a shroud of bubble wrap were of awe. I mean who doesn’t love bubble wrap? And this was the real stuff. I didn’t think they made this anymore. Anyways, I gently extracted it from the clutches of its shapely captor; it’s torso carved like a fine block of Italian marble. It was sturdy owing to its double thickness. But pliable and easy with which to work. But the tree as it lay there spread upon my floor. It was beckoning. Fluff me. Oh please fluff me it called out to me. And being that it had been a year since I fluffed last I could feel the fire beginning to rage inside of me. I needed to fluff. I wanted to fluff. And it was gonna get it’s brains fluffed out. Now there are a lot of ways to fluff. Every person develops their own style. It’s something you might see growing up, but no one really ever teaches you. One day you find that special first tree. It’s probably never been fluffed. You fall into each other and wrestle with the might of a legion of Roman soldiers. It always gets really messy your first time. But as you adventure through the bonds of many trees throughout the years you get better at it. Now I’m not a professional fluffer, but in my earlier years with the right guidance from a steady hand I think I could have left my mark. The tree stand while dainty in appearance looked like it could take the full weight of the tree with ease. Each section of the tree was clearly marked with a label indicating its order of assembly. A. B. C. Top to bottom respectively. Although my tree is mild of stature at 7.5 feet it is adequate and allows room for the broken haloed angel on its proud tip. Maybe someday I’ll be able to handle the greater fullness that comes with a section D. After assembling the tree stand and thrice screwing it with the included hardware, I found that perfect clearing from the walls that would soon feel its grace pressing upon them and readied it for section C. It slid into the tree stand smoothly, barely any play. Now I don’t know if it’s my age or experience, but I decided this year to start as the submissive and sat below it on the floor; pulling it between my outstretched legs until we were in each other’s space. As you begin, this can be a very private moment and sometimes awkward if happened upon by others by chance, so you may want to wait for that right moment to begin fluffing your tree when the intimacy is unlikely to be interrupted. Still reeling from the tightness of its box, the branches required some encouragement to unfurl, but be careful. As with any prelit tree you don’t want to be too aggressive as you introduce it to your space. Lord forbid you break a wire on one of these things. Your relationship will be over faster than a buttered duck in a restaurant kitchen on Christmas day. The fluffening is about to begin… You slide your hands down the length of its branches, finding its origin deep within and begin to allow your fingers to work their magic. They dart in and out, in and out as you lead each tip to its proper point of erection. As you fluff your way to the furthest point from the tree’s metal trunk that is nicely adorned in garland prophylactics, you’ll be greeted by the dominance wires have upon some of the tips. These should not be left to the vices of the wiring. You want your tree to be comfortable and allow its full release. I would suggest in all cases where you can, gently untangle the tips from the wires and the wires from the tips. I believe this will also be beneficial to the subsequent storage and fluffing sessions as the tree will flow more smoothly under the tutoring of your hands and fingers. While some direction is provided in the instructions concerning fluffing think “spirit fingers” or was that “fingering with spirit.” As you splay the tips about the branch it is important to allow for organic presentation by alternating tip direction, which will favor the greatest fullness and unholiness. If you’re fluffing your tree right it should feel unholy, very unholy. Reaching the ends of the branches you’ll find a pleasant collection of tips that are already covered in a decorative flourish of white excitement, a representation of light kisses of snow; call it predun. Some of the tips that are predun may be sticking quite passionately together. I found that sliding my finger along them gently teased the space between to open enough to run my fingertip back and forth thrustingly to free them from one another. This should be done tenderly. Some might ask why? “It’s a fake tree, just bum rush that thing like a train into a sphinctered mountain tunnel.” Remember, this is its first time being fluffed. You’ll want to enjoy this experience again with your tree. Not return to an example of arboriculture broken of soul. Obviously there are multiple levels of branches that will need to be fluffed and it is up to each person to decide if they want to fluff vertically or horizontally, but either way will require a repetitive pattern of in and out. I chose the vertical method, rotating the tree stand as I finished each path that would ultimately lead me to the climax of my efforts. You’ll find the tips to be of varying lengths and thickness. Each needs and deserves the same attention. Even some tips of limited stature can benefit from a two handed technique. Moving through each branch and section you’ll want to identify the location and appropriately position the wire endpoints to allow for ease of mating later. While the instructions indicate that there is a labeling convention to determine which pairs to mate in energizing your tree, sadly I only found one label so I had to try many different positions until electrons flowed through its wires like the white and frothing waters of Class IV rapids driving the river’s penetration of narrow canyons with intense abandon. With section C complete I would understand if someone described feeling a sense of randy given their session of fluffing. But it’s not over yet. With a short period of recovery it was time to multiple the enjoyment with section B. Round two begins much the same as the first with that gentle sliding motion to mount section B atop section C. It was time to change to a standing position to continue fluffing. I maintained the rhythm I had developed earlier working vertically, but allowed the tree to remain stationary this time as I moved about it looking upon and working it from all the perspectives one could achieve on a journey around the world. Fluffing section B would be over sooner than I wanted, but not entirely unexpected as subsequent rounds of fluffing generally are. Achieving the precipice of a complete tree is within sight and grasp now. Section A is an animal of a different breed since it is not fitted with hinges, every branch needing to be handily managed. The instructions call for a ladder that I would assume is meant for fluffing section A. While I am adventurous I’ve tried fluffing on a ladder before and it is an athletic endeavor not for the faint of heart or fitness. And being open to new ideas I chose to sit in a recliner to fluff section A firmly grasping the base of its trunk with one hand and using the other to work its tips. I sat it upon my lap, reaching in and massaging each branch and tip filling the space between us until the fluffing had left little distance between it’s tips and my lips. We were almost done. Section A colludes in section B with a squared broach found on many trees like this. Of much the same expectation it was a neat fit. I stood back and gazed upon it, but it still needed the built in glow of the lights. So with my planning paying off I easily found the wires and ensured their congress complete and tight. A short extension cord was called for to deliver the juice it so much desired. Adding this finishing touch I found that the tree does not have a built in switch like I had become accustomed, but I had already decided this year that once I turned it on, it was staying on until it was time to relieve it of its duty. Once again I stood back and gazed upon it from multiple perspectives taking in its glowing beauty. With care I guided it into its place. If you are not hot and sweaty by now, did you even fluff? But now you can see the quality of not only the tree, but your work. Your neighbors will be jealous. You’ve out fluffed them. You’ll be the talk of the neighborhood. You’ll be sought after to fluff, perhaps even in group fluffing events. The instructions do call this a two-person task, but sometimes three is a crowd; you’ll need the right partner to make that work. A point of confusion I found in the instructions was the reference to an apparent time limit of assembly and fluffing of no more than 120 minutes. Fluffing isn’t a race, it’s a marathon. I’ve heard that fluffing can go on for days… Take your time. You could even video it and playback, evaluate, and critique your performance to improve your fluffing technique. I’ve seen some fluffing videos, very interesting. Now that it's all over, you will find a mess, but hopefully not a load, on the floor of evidence of your engagement. Although some reviews indicated that many of the faux berries fell off during fluffing I only lost one, but that may be owing to my technique. I did find that even artificial trees can suffer from the disorder of tip erection having lost one to the pile of fluffing byproduct on the floor. All and all this was an exceptional experience that resulted in an exquisite result. If you don’t buy this tree shame should fall upon you. In an industry of, call them, clients in need of fluffing, if you want to call yourself a real fluffer, you need to introduce yourself to the best. And it is right here, look no further. Invest your fluffing with confidence.