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Empowered Boundaries: Speaking Truth, Setting Boundaries, and Inspiring Social Change Paperback – September 18, 2018
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Explaining power and privilege and the links between individual safety and community safety, Cristien Storm shows readers how to set emotional boundaries that build vibrant social movements and a better world for all. As there have been increases in violence against women, people of color, immigrants, and LGBTQI-identified people, there has been a corresponding demand for individual and community self-defense, boundary setting, and bystander trainings. Boundary setting can be used not just as a means for personal safety but as form of solidarity, resistance, and inspiration.
From saying no to a boss who always asks you to work late, to setting a boundary with a loved one, to navigating an uncomfortable situation at the bus stop, Cristien Storm offers a new approach to verbal boundary setting that is accessible for all bodies and identities. Practical in scope, the book includes tools, tips, and strategies from Storm's decades of experience leading boundary-setting workshops. Grounded in resiliency and trauma-informed theory, Storm pays particular attention to the experiences of women, people of color, immigrants, and LQBTQI-identified people, making this necessary reading for anyone looking to create healthier relationships and build stronger communities.
- Print length200 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherNorth Atlantic Books
- Publication dateSeptember 18, 2018
- Dimensions6.02 x 0.51 x 8.97 inches
- ISBN-101623172748
- ISBN-13978-1623172749
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Editorial Reviews
Review
—Library Journal (starred review)
"Not just theoretical but practical and useful for individuals and groups, the book provides exercises in boundary-setting skills and clarifies why individuals and groups have a right and a responsibility to set them.… Storm's book shows how essential setting boundaries is to standing against violence, creating safe spaces, and building stronger families, communities, and nations."
—Foreword
“Empowered Boundaries is a clear, practical guide for navigating the pressures we all face in interacting with friends, lovers, coworkers, and collaborators. Cristien Storm provides a grounded understanding of what boundaries are and how we can practice knowing what we want and don't want, asserting our needs and desires in relationships, and retaining connection in conflict. I would recommend this book to anyone struggling with conflict and frustration at work, in a group, or in their family.”
—Dean Spade, associate professor of law at Seattle University School of Law, cofounder of the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, and author of Normal Life: Administrative Violence, Critical Trans Politics and the Limits of Law
“Empowered Boundaries illustrates the fact that our individual empowerment—and to some degree, our safety—is rooted in an ability to identify and clearly communicate our boundaries to other people. Cristien Storm has already changed many lives, and I believe that many more will find this to be a transformational read.” —Amelia Bonow, author of Shout Your Abortion
“This hands-on guide to setting and upholding strong boundaries belongs on everyone's bookshelf. It brings together Cristien Storm's experience teaching women's self-defense, organizing against white nationalism, creating art, and supporting people in their personal healing to create an eminently readable resource to developing the skills and tools we need to be happy, whole, and safe. This is an inviting, practical, and essential book.”
—Dan Berger, associate professor of comparative ethnic studies, coauthor with Toussaint Losier of Rethinking the American Prison Movement, and author of The Struggle Within: Prisons, Political Prisoners, and Mass Movements in the United States
"Storm outlines—quite comprehensively—what it means to have a dynamic self in relationship to others that is both honoring of ourselves and conscious of our coexistence with others. Empowered Boundaries is practical and soulful and an impressive contribution to many different lineages of thought—psychology, social movements, and social justice education."
—Liz Goodwin, coauthor with Leticia Nieto, Beyond Inclusion, Beyond Empowerment: A Developmental Strategy to Liberate Everyone
“With a history steeped in self-defense, decades’ worth of de-escalation skills, and a lifelong interest in the nefarious workings of white nationalists, Cristien Storm is the absolute perfect person to write this timely and important book.”
—Inga Muscio, author of Cunt: A Declaration of Independence, Autobiography of a Blue-Eyed Devil: My Life and Times in a Racist Imperialist Society, and Rose: Love in Violent Times
“Cristien Storm’s Empowered Boundaries couldn’t come at a better time. In an era of bully culture, when decisions often get made by those who don’t hesitate to take what they want, while the rest of us keep worrying whether pushing back might make it worse, Storm shows us how to say, ‘Enough!’ We are lucky to have such a ferocious fighter and such a loving listener in our midst and even luckier that she has shared her hard-won wisdom to help us train our minds, our hearts, and our fists to claim the space for lives worth living.”
—Shon Meckfessel, author of Nonviolence Ain't What It Used to Be: Unarmed Insurrection and the Rhetoric of Resistance
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : North Atlantic Books (September 18, 2018)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 200 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1623172748
- ISBN-13 : 978-1623172749
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 6.02 x 0.51 x 8.97 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #461,939 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #710 in Conflict Management
- #762 in Family Conflict Resolution
- #782 in Martial Arts (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

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- Reviewed in the United States on April 27, 2021I had a hard time setting boundaries and saying no to people, and even knowing my worth. I got this book to help me in some way. AND IT DID!! now I take care of myself and have the tools to set boundaries. I recommend this book if you are openminded and interested in bettering yourself. Also if you are interested in social justice this adds a bit of that and puts things into perspective. I honestly do love this book because of what it did for me. I got what I wanted out of this book and I hope you can too. <3
- Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2020This book gives all the advice of a trusted friend and really teases apart many murky boundary violations. Unfortunately so many are socialized into our toxic culture that they are the unknowing perpetrators of these violations or are the recipients of them and they are so common that they can be hard to identify and respond to. This book clears it all up and will leave you more proactive and able to recognize and respond to violations when they come your way.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2020The book form was awesome and insightful
Am looking towards the audio book form as it is author read.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2018If you've ever struggled with "people pleasing" this is absolutely the book for you.
I'm 44 years old, fairly forthright but also very shy, and boundaries are an issue I have had my entire life. I was born with Spina Bifida so my first 18 years were "do what the doctors tell you" and "do what the grownups tell you". When I went off to college, I had no idea what personal boundaries were, how to go about setting them up, and what appropriate emotional/physical boundaries could even look like. If I had this book then, things would have been so much easier for me- it would have been very valuable to me to have had someone tell me straight out that I was allowed to stand up and advocate for myself, and to say "no" as often as I needed to, and to feel the things I was feeling and not have to try andconstantly validate those things both in my head and out loud to others.
Basically this book is a guide to emotional wisdom/maturity as far as interacting with other people- whether it's a partner, friend, family, boss, community member, stranger, etc. It demonstrates on how saying "no", disagreeing with others, not tolerating inappropriate and toxic behavior and opinions, etc. can be done in a mature, wise way. I think all of these skills are especially timely right now.
I recommend this book to anyone who is looking to strengthen their relationships with everyone they come into contact with. It's taken me almost 45 years to realize that setting boundaries is often the very best way to connect with someone else because they know straight off what you are about and how to relate with you. And if they aren't happy with the boundaries you set, then they probably aren't going to be anyone you want regular contact with. It's just a very empowering and informative book, and it's nice to have permission to say "no" when I *feel* like it's "no".
- Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2020Explaining power and privilege and the links between individual safety and community safety, Cristien Storm shows readers how to set emotional boundaries that build vibrant social movements and a better world for all. As there have been increases in violence against women, people of color, immigrants, and LGBTQI-identified people, there has been a corresponding demand for individual and community self-defense, boundary setting, and bystander trainings. Boundary setting can be used not just as a means for personal safety but as form of solidarity, resistance, and inspiration.
- Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2018I incorporated reading this book into my homework for therapy. I thought it had a lot of great material in it, and I took plenty of notes. The author's perspectives on fear were especially interesting to me.
My interest dwindled after Part I, unfortunately. At that point, not much information was new to me, and I found myself wanting more examples of boundary setting in different situations. Ultimately, it seems like the author's curriculum would be most effective when used in a class or workshop, where you could role play and get feedback. The author has so much knowledge from her many years of experience — I wish I could access more of her expertise.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2019This book helped me push my basic understanding of boundary setting in my personal relationships to actions that are more nuanced and community-minded. It was easy to read, included concrete stories from real people, and was extremely extremely helpful in my life. I would recommend this book to anyone interested in deepening their ability to set personal boundaries, and to anyone interested in the role that boundary setting can play in keeping communities safe and healthy.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2019Accessible, empowering and something I return to regularly when I need support/reminders of boundary setting skills and sensibilities that are rooted in anti-oppression and move beyond the (limited) individualized "self-help" frames . Very helpful for connecting personal boundaries to community organizing, activism, and social movement work.
Top reviews from other countries
- Theresa SmithReviewed in Canada on November 15, 2019
5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommend
I learned so much from this book. Highly recommend.